Im sorry… words we hear very often… when someone bumps into you, when they step on your brand new shoes, when they have wronged you in any number of ways…. Its always… “Im sorry”. The problem with that is… its too easy. Its often times a cop out. People say “im sorry” because they feel it will make whatever it was they did… ok. It doesnt. Its just a knee jerk reaction to being caught at doing something they shouldnt have. The kids drop peanut butter all over the floor… “im sorry”… yet they take no action to right the wrong… your son puts the car through the back of the garage… “Im sorry” is the first thing out of his mouth… its not that he feels remorse… its that he fears punishment if he doesnt show some type of remorse. Truly feeling bad about things is a learned reaction… yet the whole “Im sorry” reaction is just as empty as the Titanic… The utterance of the prhase is as automatic as yawning when we awake. We dont take responsibility for the action that caused us to proclaim “Im sorry”. Kids are great at it… some will say theyre sorry even before the event has stopped, just to make sure you feel they are truly sorry. The truth is…. they arent… they want us to feel that they feel remorse for something, but deep inside… they dont. This carries into adulthood, using the “Im sorry” for a chance to get out of trouble.
When do people really mean they are sorry? Is it that easy for us to say that without really meaning it? What makes them sorry, and is there something they want to do to make things better? Why is it that people use that phrase without truly meaning what they are saying? I believe the phrase has become a catch phrase for “I really dont care, dont bother me” Its almost a dismissal phrase…. as if saying youre sorry makes it all better, and it goes away.
What doesnt go away is the hurt, the feeling of being slighted, and dismissed. There comes a time when saying they are sorry just isnt enough… they have to show that they are sorry… take the time to right what went wrong.
I know that saying “Im sorry” is often a consoling phrase too… used when something bad happens to another, and we had nothing to do with it. It shows a fellowship, a recognition of the pain the other is feeling, and helps the other to know that you understand what they are going through…. That use of the phrase is better than just uttering “Im sorry” at the drop of a coin… showing your compassion for the person who is dealing with a situation that is making their life miserable. It may be a situation at home, at work, or with extended family… but your “Im sorry” helps the other know that you feel their pain, and understand that there is nothing you can do to help… but would if you could…..
Too often we hear “Im sorry”… when it is hollow and not filled with any meaning… its time we change that attitude. When we say we are sorry… we need to dig down deep, and find the reason we feel we are sorry for whatever it is that went wrong… we cant just utter the words, and feel that we have done all we can do make things better. There is more to it than that. We need to feel it. We need to dig deep, to dredge up feelings that are equal to the problem, and not just let it go with a brush off comment. BE SORRY… dont just say it… and while you are BEING sorry… help the person who you feel sorrow for. Dont let an opportunity pass in which you can make a difference… get off your butt, on your feet.. and help make things better….
That way you will never have to say…..
Im sorry….
peace
MJ
